![]() Perhaps your partner can take responsibility for all school-related responsibilities while you handle all medical-related tasks. Even if you can’t take your hands off the steering wheel entirely, there may be places others can contribute. Research at Arizona State University found that with greater orchestration tasks, moms experienced reduced wellbeing and reduced satisfaction with life and with their partner.Ĭonsider sharing the leadership and responsibilities of the home. ![]() This kind of ownership and orchestration are largely invisible, but take mental effort and can lead to reduced happiness. For example, a dad may take his son for his doctor appointment, but mom was the one who made the appointment, put it on the calendar and reminded everyone that it would be taking place today. Dads have increased their contribution to households over time, but moms are typically still connecting the dots overall. Interestingly, moms also tend to be the leaders and orchestrators of caregiving and home life. Be intentional about sharing both the burdensome and the most joyful responsibilities. If you have a partner, distribute tasks as much as possible and communicate about the kinds of tasks you enjoy most and least. These differences in context and support affect happiness and satisfaction of moms. In addition, the University of Minnesota study found dads tend to do more parenting when other adults are around (think: family trip to the zoo), while moms tend to do more of their caregiving alone (think: middle of the night feedings or making dinner before the family is home). On the other hand, dads tend to do more parenting that is recreational like going to a playground. Studies at Penn State found women tend to do more of the mundane (and less rewarding) caregiving work like changing diapers, doing laundry or preparing meals. ![]() In addition, the type of work moms perform tends to be different than dads’ work. Moms are also more likely to work a “second shift” in which they work for pay all day, and then perform home-work in the evening. Motherhood can also be stressful because of the kind of work it entails. The saying is apt, “You can have it all, just not all at once.” Appreciate every moment, knowing it will be fleeting. When children are younger, they take enormous amounts of time, but as they get older and are increasingly away from home with friends or as they leave the nest, you’ll crave time with them. It’s also helpful to remind yourself of the long term. The moment you take to get away or take a breather can make a big difference in your wellbeing and in your quality of parenting. In addition, happiness is significantly greater when moms are able to perform self-care.
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